Reasons to Tweet at the President

So I was about to go take a shower when I realized I hadn’t read any gossip news tonight (shame, shame) because I went out for once (shock, shock) so I went to my favourite source for all things trash, the Daily Mail. A British paper, they follow a lot of US and UK celebrities, European politics, and other things. Most of it’s junk, sometimes they publish fascinating things, all of it deserves a grain of salt. Anyway.

Tonight I read the gem that Amanda Bynes, somewhat fallen child star, has been formally accused of DUI. While that’s not surprising- she clipped a police car while driving and then refused a breathalyzer test (Why refuse it if you’re innocent?)- what is oddest is what she did next- She tweeted at the president:

‘Hey @BarackObama… I don’t drink. Please fire the cop who arrested me. I also don’t hit and run. The end.’

Now, I don’t know if she did what she’s accused of or not, that doesn’t really matter, but what does she expect the president to do about it? I’d really like to think he has too much going on.

But I guess if you’re a semi-successful actress who “retired” at 22, you think that the president is going to check his twitter feed and get back to you about the cop you think should be fired for doing his job. Desperation? Status? Joke? I can’t tell. Which makes me wonder what other reasons one might have to tweet at Barack Obama. Which the led to this list of 5 reasons/things one might, in a bind, tweet at the president.


Hey @BarackObama… I don’t steal. I found the dog in my yard. Please fire the “owner” who wants it back. I also don’t kick dogs. The end.



Hey @Barack Obama… I don’t eat whipped cream. Please fire the barista who put it on my venti latte. I also don’t add sugar. The end.


Hey @ BarackObama… I don’t cheat. Please fire the teacher who says I stole my essay from Wikipedia. I also don’t lie. The end.


Hey @BarackObama… I don’t use shampoo. Please fire the security guard who says I hid it in my purse. I also don’t steal. The end.


Hey @BarackObama… I don’t like children. Please fire the server who seated me next to one. I also don’t scream at strangers. The end.


I’m not sure he could help with any of these things, either, but…it’s worth a shot, right? I know I at least will be eagerly waiting to see if he intervenes, to see if I have a new way to get out of problems that come my way in the future. And if he won’t help, I could always try Hillary.



Author: elizabethlorraine

Writer, actress, runner, knitter, and geek.

One thought on “Reasons to Tweet at the President”

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